Cheng Yun & Caspian


You never liked me saying it, because you felt like everything you did to cheer me up never worked, that I don’t even know that you’re suffering too. You accuse me of being selfish of my grief, and you scold me for not realising you had a share in the grief too. I know you’re right. But I couldn’t help myself; because I hated how our story was going to end. That’s the only thing I think of now.

I found you outside the apartment. You took a drag of your cigarette. I hugged you from behind. You didn’t budge.

‘Going back isn’t so bad right? With all that Mahathir’s doing with the Petronas Twin Towers and Putrajaya and what not. You guys had the Commonwealth Games last year too, right?’

‘I guess so.’

You let out a puff of smoke. ‘What do you think your family’s going to react?’

‘I think they’re going to be glad I’m going back. They’ve been dropping hints for me to go home like mad. Now they’re even calling me three times everyday.’

‘No. I mean, did you tell your family yet?’

‘No, of course not. So I’m thinking of moving to KL, actually. Then at least when I’m going to die I can tell the doctors to lie to my parents.’

‘Yun, your family will know, one way or another.’

‘But they don’t know the first thing about people like us, Cas. They’re not like your Eurasian parents. I’ve told you about how upset they are when I told them I won’t settle down and have kids.’ I couldn’t help but huff again, ‘You know how they are.’

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